5 years ago at the very moment I am typing this, my wonderful world was coming to a very sudden stop. Brooke and I started the day, heading off to Longmont United Hospital, and looking back if I knew then what I know now, I would not have had any concern during that day. Brooke was overdue with our only girl and the little girl was ready to come into this world with the help of modern medicine.
We got there and were settled in and met our Nurse, Polly. Brooke was to be induced and that is what happend. We went through a long day of contractions, the movie "freaky friday" and other stuff. It became time for Taylor to come and it went in a very interesting direction. Brooke had experienced 3 other births and we had no complications and this delivery would make up for that. If I remember right, Brooke was beyond tired and the room was full of doctors, nurses and people being busy for a new baby to come.
I have always loved watching our childs heart rate and listining to the heart beat. Soon this became my worst nightmare. Taylor's tones would drop, pause and stop and her hart rate would drop during contractions. This went on for some time and the concern was written all over our good doctors face. The feeling in the room changed and it became clear that Taylor would need to be delivered a diffrent way than expected. The doctor sat next to Brooke and told her what needed to happen and he checked her one more time and then, something changed again and it went from, "sorry" to " lets go NOW" (I am not going into details here but you get the drift.)
within a moment Brooke was out the door and down the hall with nurses and doctors moving really fast. I knew they had to move fast and I was right behind them with Polly trying to get me ready to go into the operating room. It was only a few minutes, but seemed like 10. The doc had swung into "get this baby out right now" mode and I was trying to be a good husband. Brooke was feeling no pain and was warm. Brooke could not see the doc but I sure could, within a moment he was trying to get Taylor out and he could not get her. Brooke was no longer happy and this is where it all started spinning for me. I heard the doctor say/yell that he had "cord around the neck and arm" the drug doctor was now concered about Brooke's stats and I saw her eyes roll. That is when it dawned on me that I might not be going home with a wife, or a baby.
Another doctor arrived and the tension was high. There were alot of very direct orders from the doctor to nurses and he finaly had Taylor, as blue as could be and not moving at all. I remember as though it was happining right now. I knew it was bad, Brooke was back and she kept asking why the baby was not crying. She turned to the drug doc and told him she wanted to be out, the nurses wrapped Taylor up, and showed her to Brooke and Brooke was out. Another doctor came in and took charge.....like a storm. The fury was around Taylor, her lung was collapsed, her blood pH level was way off and they could not get a "line" into her and the doctor turned to me and told me to start signing forms because Taylor was going to leave, "right now."
Being the "cop" where I fix things, I am in control, and I fix things. I could not fix this. My wife barley made it, Taylor was still blue and Iwas alone in the midst of controled chaos. I signed the forms and they performed a procedure to put a line into her belly button. I asked if Taylor would make it and the doc said she would but was not staying here but going to Childrens, ASAP and the call for the "flight for life" crew was already put in. They were en-route from Denver and Brooke was being taken to recovery. I got there and it was around 1030 at night. Brooke was not really with it when the flight crew showed up. They worked on Taylor for about 45 minutes and had her ready. The crew was very kind and I knew the nurse from my police work which lightened the load. There was my new daughter hooked up to several machines, lots of beeping things and Brooke reached out for her and put her hand into the incubator she was in. The flight nurse then handed me a black and white striped zebra with a flight for life bandana.
There I stood there with a stuffed animal in my hand as I watched them leave, Brooke was still out of it for the most part. I think some of my family showed up and I called Nelson and Trish. I can't remember what I said. I went home for a while and tried to sleep. I got up around 3am and went to Childrens. I lived in Childrens ICU for a week and went to see Brooke everyday. I remember the first time the hospital let Brooke go to see Taylor. It dranined Brooke, but so worth it. Taylor had a feeding tube that she pulled off her face and got rid of a week or so into it. Brooke was released and then we spent our time at Childrens for a few weeks.
Just typing this tonight takes me back to that night. And tonight, she is very strong, has very strong feelings and is TOUGH as nails with her brothers.
Brooke paid another price to get Pierson here, so needless to say, no more children out of this home.
Happy birthday to our one and only little girl!
Meaning and Remembering
5 months ago